I took my newly 2 year old to kindergarten graduation to celebrate a couple of the daycare kids achievement. Before it started a couple women near us were talking, and one of them said "oh, I don't know where that is I'll have to look it up" Elias leaned over and said to her "Google it" I looked at him and asked incredulously "Did you just say Google it?" And he looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on earth and said while rolling his eyes "Yeesss, ugh"
For goodness sake, he can't even read. LOL.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Thoughts on getting healthier (religious)
Next Saturday is the end of my eight week program at the gym. (It's kinda like biggest looser). SO far I've lost about seven percent of my body weight, which they tell me is great, but not quite great enough to win probably. Not to worry, I'm far more concerned with my long term health than if I win the big TV or not, because much to Andy's chagrin, I honestly don't want it.
But during my frequent, long hours logged on one cardio machine or another, I have had some thoughts.
First, I've found that for me, which is not to say I believe all these things are universal, but for ME; when I eat something like spinach or carrots, I will get full of that flavor and be done and feel satisfied, if not full. But if I eat something like an ice cream sunday, I don't get full of that. I will just continue to try and cram in one delicious mouthful after another, until I can't contain one more bite. And then I find myself wishing I could hold more because I delight in eating it (while feeling awful about the calories I'll have to burn to negate that binge). But you know what? If I am still wanting to eat, then I'm not really satisfied.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that the last thing I will do is agree to give up ice cream and taquitoes and the like forever, but it has changed my eating patterns so that those things are a treat and the majority of my food is frutis and veggies, whole wheat carbs and less of them, and lean protiens. And it got me thinking, I really think that God designed me in such a way that my body is telling me it prefers healthier stuff, it just says it quiter than the screams I hear from my stomach and mind for all the things that have made up the majority of my diet the last, oh, thirty years or so. Like listening to the Holy Ghost, which does not yell for me, but I have to listen really hard to get the impressions, my body tells me it does better when I eat cherries for my snack than donuts, but quietly, in the ways that it just goes without tiring as easily, allows me to get on the floor faster to play with the kids at work and up a little faster when I'm needed elsewhere, stuff like that. And over time, the screams have dulled to yells, mostly.
And this brought me to the thought that all things are in similitude of Him, and the life of our Savior. Clearly, the sacrament on Sunday is to remind me of the covenants I've made so that I can renew my efforts to keep with them. I have also heard that marital relations can be a sacrament, reminding me of my covenants to my spouse. But the last couple weeks I've been thinking about how my cardio time is like a sacrament too. When I do it, it often feels like a dear sacrifice: of my time, time with my boy and my husband who I miss, time I should be doing other important things for my family like dishes and laundry, time I could be relaxing and getting to bed at a reasonable hour for once! But as I contine to pound away on one machine or another, I am honing my body to be better, I am remembering the choices I've made that brought me to this point. I take stock of my food for the day and try to think how I can do better, make better choices, come back the next day for more, and in general just do better with this body that I have been blessed to steward over.
I am sure that for much of my life I have not been that happy with this body of mine, especially with the many ugly and hard years of suffering it took for me to have my boy, and how hard I can see it will continue to be when Andy aquesces to allowing us to try again. Why should I put in so many hours, hours that could honestly be spent doing other worthwhile things, sweating over some machine?
But I know the answer now. When I began this program, I made covenants to myself and the Lord about doing better, finally doing all those things I knew I should do, but in a reasonable way that would fit my personality and life, and I really meant it. Always one to use music to speak to my own soul, I generally begin my excersising with the song "End of the World as we Know it" by REM. And you know what? I really do feel fine.
But during my frequent, long hours logged on one cardio machine or another, I have had some thoughts.
First, I've found that for me, which is not to say I believe all these things are universal, but for ME; when I eat something like spinach or carrots, I will get full of that flavor and be done and feel satisfied, if not full. But if I eat something like an ice cream sunday, I don't get full of that. I will just continue to try and cram in one delicious mouthful after another, until I can't contain one more bite. And then I find myself wishing I could hold more because I delight in eating it (while feeling awful about the calories I'll have to burn to negate that binge). But you know what? If I am still wanting to eat, then I'm not really satisfied.
Now, anyone who knows me knows that the last thing I will do is agree to give up ice cream and taquitoes and the like forever, but it has changed my eating patterns so that those things are a treat and the majority of my food is frutis and veggies, whole wheat carbs and less of them, and lean protiens. And it got me thinking, I really think that God designed me in such a way that my body is telling me it prefers healthier stuff, it just says it quiter than the screams I hear from my stomach and mind for all the things that have made up the majority of my diet the last, oh, thirty years or so. Like listening to the Holy Ghost, which does not yell for me, but I have to listen really hard to get the impressions, my body tells me it does better when I eat cherries for my snack than donuts, but quietly, in the ways that it just goes without tiring as easily, allows me to get on the floor faster to play with the kids at work and up a little faster when I'm needed elsewhere, stuff like that. And over time, the screams have dulled to yells, mostly.
And this brought me to the thought that all things are in similitude of Him, and the life of our Savior. Clearly, the sacrament on Sunday is to remind me of the covenants I've made so that I can renew my efforts to keep with them. I have also heard that marital relations can be a sacrament, reminding me of my covenants to my spouse. But the last couple weeks I've been thinking about how my cardio time is like a sacrament too. When I do it, it often feels like a dear sacrifice: of my time, time with my boy and my husband who I miss, time I should be doing other important things for my family like dishes and laundry, time I could be relaxing and getting to bed at a reasonable hour for once! But as I contine to pound away on one machine or another, I am honing my body to be better, I am remembering the choices I've made that brought me to this point. I take stock of my food for the day and try to think how I can do better, make better choices, come back the next day for more, and in general just do better with this body that I have been blessed to steward over.
I am sure that for much of my life I have not been that happy with this body of mine, especially with the many ugly and hard years of suffering it took for me to have my boy, and how hard I can see it will continue to be when Andy aquesces to allowing us to try again. Why should I put in so many hours, hours that could honestly be spent doing other worthwhile things, sweating over some machine?
But I know the answer now. When I began this program, I made covenants to myself and the Lord about doing better, finally doing all those things I knew I should do, but in a reasonable way that would fit my personality and life, and I really meant it. Always one to use music to speak to my own soul, I generally begin my excersising with the song "End of the World as we Know it" by REM. And you know what? I really do feel fine.
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