The Hawaii Dilemna

Because I'm nearly certain that Andy never checks this blog or could even give the address if pressed, I feel comfortable posting this quandry.

OF course, maybe no one reads this, but I've got to try.

So for anyone who didn't hear, Andy and I sat through a timeshare thing last year and spun a prize wheel at the end and won a free trip to Hawaii. On the spot he said I should take my mother, as it has been her life long goal to go there. At one point about 30 years ago she had saved up $1000 to make the trip, but then she got pregnant with me and married my dad who can't fly anywhere.

So, the tickets are in hand, we leave March 15th. Just me and my mom, Andy is staying home with our kid. (Yes, I am comfortable leaving E with Andy for four days. Andy is an awesome dad. Make whatever judgements you will about my mothering)

The conundrum is this: Andy is feeling really bogged down by life lately. Not sleeping well for weeks, always exhausted even when he just gets up, cranky, and feeling vague and directionless. I'm sure my recent surge towards my personal life goals has only shone a spotlight on his lack thereof (not that I am sorry for my choices, but I love him and I don't ever want to make him feel bad, not even on accident). So he has been saving up his vacation days to try and get a few days off from life, in a responsible and planned way, and now he has to burn through them to stay home with our boy while I go to Hawaii. I've been trying to plan a fun get away together (and by myself) that is just his style with his friends for his 30th birthday this summer, but he is all depress-y about everything. Tonight he went to bed at 6:30pm.

Do I think my staying home would fix things? no
Do I think he has a serious depression issue? Not yet. I'm keeping my eye on it though
Is this really about Hawaii? No, not at all. But this is the current form this issue is taking.

So with him feeling understandably jealous, and loosing something he was really counting on for me to do this thing with my mom, on top of being in a rough patch right now, I desperately want to come up with SOMETHING for him to help him have a better time while I am gone. He HATES surprises (which makes Christmas awkward) and I"ve already offered fun foods and to set up babysitting assistance from our family that can help. ANY other ideas? I"m pretty open here.

And by the way - for those in the know on the school front, he is trying to get me to go ASAP and say he will wait until I'm finished to start again. Over my dead body.